went to my weekly meeting with my Amnesty group and we finished and say goodbye at more or less 9 pmI reached my car to go home -- I live outside the city, it takes me 20 minutes to get neck to my parents' house.People in my city are very arrogant drivers -- lots of them think they rule the streets. I was in my line, driving at normal speed, when I saw a big, black car with lights off in my line. It was trying to pass another car and invaded my line completely. I don't know what I did -- just a quick movement of the wheels, some breaks and a lot of luck because no one was behind me and hit me.I was safe. My heart was beating so fast and I was shaking.Of course the black car disappeared
I was alive
I stopped the car and take some moment to calm down
I am alive -- Something wrong could have happened but I am ok. Just a little scared.
I waited for my heart beat to be normal again and my thoughts run to my family, to my sister, to all the time I behaved like a fool with them. I am sorry for that -- and I hope I'll learn to control my mood better.
And then I thought about P.E.
I treated him kind. I replied to all his messages, my behavious was respectful. I have nothing to blame myself for.Maybe he has good reasons not to write -- maybe he's none.I deserve the same good treatmen I gave him and I am not going to wait in vain. He's far.
Maybe this "story" is over -- anyway I was left with a handful of seet and precious things and memories.
Lately, I've been so vulnerable -- like running with scissors in my hand, ready to give them to everyone to hit me.
But I am alive and I am glad for it.
That moment puts some order in my thoughts.
I deserve kindness and respect, because I treat the others in that way and I am not going to waste time (or tears) for anything.
I should never forget it.
I am glad to be alive.